| Summer |
[Aug. 31st, 2006|07:52 pm] |
in a nutshell, and because I'm lazy:
some things I want to remember (in no particular order):
-seeing Ivan scream like a girl while getting hit by a wave in the ocean.
-seeing Wilco at the Pines
-going to Cape Cod with Sarah and John
-meeting Brian
-the rope swing at the Cape
-the horrible 'summer camp' dorm painting experience.
-sixlets
-going to Cape Cod the second time with Brian
-the whale watch
-Nicholas Phelps and every awful, yet entertaining thing he did
-going to Elissa's the first time
-the fourth of July
-watching Nick and Nate pretend to be zombies in the middle of the night on Bay road while I hid in the bushes, also watching Nate trip in the mud
-horseneck beach
-going to Brian's friends birthday party and passing out at 12
-watching Nick almost hit a kid running across a sidewalk in Amherst/his impression of it afterward
-"hoax magazine"
-Jack's trampoline
-10,000+ crossword puzzles
-getting my new car
-Elissa's boy stories
-talking the entire duration of Sin City
-finally watching the Office (american) and loving it
-Ali G
-me and Brian being the youngest people in the theater when we saw Wordplay
-boogie boarding
-feeding the ducks at Stanly park
-getting drunk on the beach with John's gay brother and his 15 year old cousin
-watching Weeds
-feeding the giant turtle that lives in the Umass pond
-going to the beach more than I have in years.
Things I would rather forget:
-that night at the harp with alan.
-getting 'back together' with alan for a week.
-marylin monroe
-avoiding my roommates for reasons they didn't know
-fucking cooking
-the power going out in the 100 degree weather.
-the hair in the shower
-not talking to Jon
the good outweigh the bad and that makes me happy.
So long summer and bay road and sweating in oil paint fumes, I will sort of miss you.
sidenote: everyone should come visit me and Sarah in our new place (that we move into tomorrow) 199 Colonial Village in Amherst!
Done and done. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 1st, 2006|06:21 pm] |
No more Chicopee this summer! Off to 664 Bay Road I go.
This is the first summer I think I have ever been excited for. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 7th, 2006|04:58 pm] |
My life runs in parallels.
small rant: why is it that every single boy that I have met in the past 3 years has taken their time to string me along, make me think that they want what I want, and then abruptly one day stop talking to me, tell me on the fucking internet that they 'can't be in a relationship right now' and then never talk to me again? Am I seriously that much of a joke that no matter how much I let people see of myself their conscience does not even make them think twice about pretending I never existed at all? Why does it make me a bad person for actually wanting to feel something as oppsed to having meaningless interactions with people who don't care a thing about me?
My only consolation to my neverending thirdwheeled existence (because I like sounding 16): I am not living in Chicopee this summer. Nope, I will be living up near Amherst, so if anyone wants to come visit I'll give you the address.
Just 3 weeks left until I'm over all this bitterness... |
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| ive been awake for 34 hours. |
[Dec. 16th, 2005|05:12 pm] |
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i've been moved these past few days. moved from the unfortunate place i've spent most of this semester. but i feel good. really good and very lucky. and thats completly honest. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 29th, 2005|11:09 am] |
I'm not sure how many times this has to happen before I finally just realize it isn't worth it.
Something has to change. I just wish I knew what. |
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| (no subject) |
[Sep. 23rd, 2005|06:31 pm] |
Good (or presumably good) situations make me nervous. I feel like I don't deserve them. Then I worry they won't last. Then they don't.
I am positive parts of my brain have not matured past 15.
I never put enough effort into anything.
My life just feels like busy work. |
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| My Mardi Gras sweatshirt is wet. |
[Sep. 10th, 2005|07:38 pm] |
College beginning is overwhelming, to say the least. Its always hard for me to just sit back and take it in, even though I know everything will work itself out. It always feels like I am starting from scratch, old friends either have forgotten me or I have willingly forgotten them. Maybe I am too selective but I really cannot control what types of people hold my interest and make me happy. I think I have gotten better at making friends, actually its pretty easy, its just finding good ones thats tough. Same goes for everyone to some degree I suppose.
Some parts of me feel so dead right now. But I am making an effort to change it even though I never seem to find what I need. And as always I can deal with it, luckily there is a lot of distraction here.
In other news I can tentativly say that I like the new basement, there are too many girls but they are all nice. Our neighbors happen to be boys however, which means no squealing girl laughs at all hours of the night, and no celine dion singing. And the ones on the right remind me exactly of basement kids from last year, except nicer. Also I am pretty sure the only way I will ever get married is if it is to Mo Rocca or a version of him. Also I would love it if someone could tell me why this school can't seem to fucking get over Sublime or why I can walk down a hall in any given building and hear it playing in at least one room.?!!?1? |
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| Back to Umass! |
[Sep. 1st, 2005|05:00 pm] |
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I feel like I've been hibernating for the last 3 months. Today I am more excited than I have been about anything this entire summer. I have a feeling that this is going to be a very good year. |
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| Its amazing what this place turns me into |
[Aug. 20th, 2005|12:49 am] |
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2 more weeks and my friday nights will finally cease to consist of playing the same tetris-like game on my computer for 4 straight hours. |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 11th, 2005|09:59 pm] |
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parents on vacation fri/sat/sun/mon. anyone want to come over? |
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| (no subject) |
[Aug. 8th, 2005|06:24 pm] |
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not you too Peter Jennings! |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 26th, 2005|06:07 pm] |
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I understand my life less and less each day. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 24th, 2005|07:47 pm] |
great week + great weekend = happy amy
some days I don't want anything to do with myself and other days I don't want to be anyone else. Recently I've enjoyed being me, as lame as that sounds, due to time spent with certain people.
Who knows how long it'll last.
Summer and too much time on my hands make my mind wander and long for impossible things, that have always been impossible. I could conceivably drive myself crazy if I morphed into who I used to be, fortunatly I don't think that is possible. I do wish sometimes that I could record the dialog that goes on in my head because it's a whole lot funnier than anything that comes out of my mouth, not that thats important, but I'm sure it'd be very entertaining to some people (or maybe just to me, heh)
bleh, more work tomorrow, must eat, must sleep, must hope for another good week. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jul. 12th, 2005|06:16 pm] |
I guess I don't hate summer anymore.
I've seen some good people recently and that has put me in good moods. Good moods that make me think of how lucky I am to know certain people, such as Nick Chechlie, who, because hanging out with him is better than sleeping, caused me to fall asleep for almost 3 hours in the pool today. Heh.
I want to do fun summer things and turn off the tv. I also want to not have oil paint on my leg. Meh. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jun. 12th, 2005|11:02 pm] |
I am dying here. And because I lack any skill or ability to change it, for the next 3 months I will be a blob that paints dorms 7.5 hours a day and watches the same episodes of arrested development over and over the rest.
I miss not being surrounded by white trash, not having to drive everyday, not being anywhere near the videogame playing wall fixture that is my brother, listening to ivan, and not watching tv.
Nothing ever changes. |
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| (no subject) |
[May. 20th, 2005|09:50 pm] |
And so this year is over. Over. Over. Over. and I am sad.
In my mind I have a lot to say but I don't really know how to say it. So I won't.
I also don't really know how to thank the following people: Sarah, Ivan, Heather,Jon,Jack, Jace, Nick, Brian, Sean, Steve, Pat, Stephanie, Tori, Krissy, Jen, Kim, Julia, Alex,and all the other crazy faces I saw everyday: for making this year so good. It has been by far one of the biggest turning points of my life and for the first time ever, i think, I can say that as a whole I don't regret anything.
Therefore I cannot wait until these summer months are over and I can do it all again. Except this time even better.
and so this is Amy signing off on another chapter in life. |
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| Creepfest 09' |
[Apr. 10th, 2005|01:49 pm] |
Such a ridiculously fun weekend. I got to see kids from high school that I had forgotten how much I missed. I got to take an hour long stumbling walk with Kim Lambert back from southwest because we insisted that it would be easier to walk than get a ride. I didn't get in any fights with Ivan. I went to a bonfire and met awesome people. I got covered in so much mud that my purple shoe will never be purple again. I got written up for not going outside for a fire alarm at 5 in the morning. I yelled at a fireman. I made a new friend that is not creepy. I watched every boy on my floor do ridiculously funny things. I was laughing pretty much non-stop for 3 days.
I am going to miss all of this so much when its over. |
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| Death Extravaganza '05 |
[Apr. 2nd, 2005|04:48 pm] |
Johnny Cochran, Mitch Hedberg, and now the Pope.
Ha.
Why are my beginnings always so much better than the ends? And why do I continue to want something that I know I can never have? And why do I only attract the creepiest guys known to man? |
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| (no subject) |
[Mar. 27th, 2005|03:10 pm] |
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Last night couldn't have come at a better time. Its been a while since I've had that much fun. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 24th, 2005|10:52 pm] |
Life has recently reached some ridiculous levels of confusion. I don't know how to feel about it.
People have been flowing in and out of my life like water, i have no direction, many parts of my character have been called into question, i've been reading 400+ pages a week, i cannot speak in coherent sentences, i cannot think rationally.
i need something and i do not know what it is. I don't think I ever will. |
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| The usual friday night drunken rant. |
[Feb. 12th, 2005|04:36 am] |
I am going to be honest, I hate blond girls with stupid fucking boots and people who have more pressing matters on their minds than to care about how a "pessimistic, serious" asshole such as myself feels about any of the things that are going on in her life. I know the language of those who want you out of their lives. All too familiar. Either way it hurts to lose someone, especially to a fucking blong girl with stupid fucking boots. Hah.
I give up. I need a break from the world. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 7th, 2005|01:54 am] |
Sometimes I make an ass out of myself and to anyone who had to see me do that repeatedly this weekend I am sorry. I always have to learn the hard way.
In other news the kid from Argentina who lives down the hall makes me laugh so hard that I cannot breath. Sarah can attest to this.
I need to shut up, stop worrying, and just enjoy my time here. If I can't even say why I am upset then there is no reason to feel that way. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 6th, 2005|01:14 am] |
Honestly, I don't even understand why people talk to me. Worst I have fucking felt in how long? Oh wait, this is what is normal.
I'm done. |
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| (no subject) |
[Feb. 1st, 2005|01:10 am] |
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Could it be that besides the ants coming out of the wall and the parking ticket I got today and the 6 hours of reading I have to do a night that this is the best I have felt in as long as I can remember? It is possible and boy do I appreciate it. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 29th, 2005|04:25 am] |
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So I totally just hung out with half of my floor, and they were all pretty cool guys. What an interesting night. Ha, I'm still drunk. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 26th, 2005|03:00 pm] |
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one of my professors looks like Willem Dafoe with white hair. |
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| (no subject) |
[Jan. 18th, 2005|10:26 pm] |
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Vacation is almost over and it really hasn't been so bad, besides waking up at 4pm everyday. I got to see many people i havn't seen in a long time. lots of fun. I'm even looking forward to going back to school. Lets see how long this lasts. |
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adversereality's journal
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